Page 26, Line 26 by Paul White
Inspired by Line 26, Page 26 of ‘The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida’ by Shehan Karunatilaka.
The Budget
‘Twenty thousand disappeared. You got the sums wrong.’
‘No, that is exactly the figure I have been given.’
‘By whom, may I ask?’
‘The Treasury, of course. The last government has left us with a twenty thousand dollar hole in the budget for parliamentary biscuits.’
‘Crumbs! Sorry. I mean, I had absolutely no idea politicians spend so much on biscuits. Does anyone?’
‘Treasury knows, obviously.’
‘What would happen if biscuits were no longer available for politicians, I wonder.’
‘There’d be hell to pay.’
‘And how much would that cost?’
‘You are being obtuse. We can’t just do away with biscuits and expect no one to notice.’
‘Could we just get rid of ginger nuts, then?’
‘Certainly not.’
‘What about Shrewsburys or Custard Creams?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘I’ve got it, what about banning Tim Tams. Wouldn’t that save heaps?’
‘I reckon Digestives are the only ones people won’t miss.’
‘Really? I love a good Digestive.’
‘Yeah, but they’re not really digestive, are they. They don’t do what it says on the tin.’
‘I miss the days when biscuits came in tins, don’t you?’
‘Yes, but I think we’re getting distracted.’
‘When I get distracted I always find that a nice cup of tea and a biscuit gets me back on track.’
‘Exactly. And that is why we have a budget for parliamentary biscuits.’
‘Oh, right. See what you mean. Not that keen on Garibaldis, myself. What about you?’
‘You mean those squashed fly things? Can’t stand them.’
‘I’ve got it. Let’s ban all rice crackers.’
‘Bloody genius! And crispbreads, too, eh.’
Paul White